As a writer, I’m drawn to all that we repress.

I’m interested in deeper questions around the simplification of desire and what intimacy is and can entail. Since a very young age, I was never into popular images of what alternative sexuality entails: cheapened scenes and leather-as-fashion. I’m into the feeling of sitting in our bodies to understand why we like what we like today. To understanding pain and control not only as hard-wired needs, but also as the consequences of hyper-vigilance—of not letting hour bodies feel.

I think about wrestling with friends and getting in trouble almost on purpose. As a boy, I didn’t intentionally do those things because I was too self-conscious. Too hyper aware of my actual desires: desires wrapped up with how I was raised and with how I saw other boys being raised around me—like how their dad’s taught them to lift more, hit more, fight more. Or the boundaries they saw that I couldn’t see.

Thanks for reading my work, and I hope to connect with you. Please feel free to email me at jonathanjrylander@proton.me.